When A turned one year old, we decided to start trying for another baby. We anticipated that it would take some time, maybe even another loss and I was not getting any younger...
So I stopped the pill and we managed to have sex ONCE on the ovulation window (possibly the whole month, I don't remember it).
I have to make a parentheses that I think it is almost a miracle by itself that parents that do not have help with their children (family, friends, nannies, whatever) manage to have sex at all. I mean, the baby has to be sound asleep. You need to have the energy and the desire. Your partner needs to have the energy and the desire. Not an easy strike of luck by combination with a baby around... We were also particularly bad at setting up routines (well, my husband specially, I did try but when only one parent wants a routine and the other doesn't, I can save you a lot of time and stress by telling you it does not work, do not try it).
Anyway, even though it was that only once, I was somehow quite confident that I'd fallen pregnant again. I can't explain it. It was not anything that I remember feeling before or after. It was just a certainty that all was going to be right. And it was. Month 1 of trying to get pregnant again, we got pregnant.
It was my best pregnancy (and I write that during my last pregnancy) . Not only because it was so easy to get pregnant but because I had a deep certainty that it was going to work out and I did not need to worry. And so I didn't. I went back to the Chinese acupuncturist Dr Nie, at the request of my husband and had to drink that sirup/tea thing again.
Then at 7 weeks I had a bleeding. I had been having dark blood spotting that I knew was not serious. You read a lot when you are pregnant. Every symptom you run to ask our friend Google (which in all honesty is often one of the first "people" to know we are pregnant at all). But when I got more blood and this time bright red, I freaked out. I was so confident everything was going to be fine, how could this be happening?
Off we go, the three of us, to the ER to check. I am hormonal, pregnant and very scared. I kept talking to myself, asking how could this be, I was so certain that the baby was going to be fine, how could there be a bleeding? I don't know how long we waited. It felt very long and I was crying on and off. We eventually went into the room for an ultrasound and I feared that they would say what they had said so many times before, that they were sorry... BUT the doctor didn't. She saw a heartbeat, showed it to me and explained that everything looked absolutely fine. Words cannot described how happy I was, how relieved. Everything was indeed fine despite my worst fears.
With this pregnancy, on top of the certainly that everything was gong to be fine, I was also sure it was a boy. So we decided to find out. I needed to find out because if it was not, I needed time to adjust to having another girl (not that it would have been a problem at all, but I was so certain it was a boy that I'd need time to get my head around another scenario). And it was a boy. I was right about that too!